when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
