dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
