I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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