Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
