he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
