just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
