I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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