I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
