I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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