Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
