You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
