...so i touched it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
