have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
