apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
