respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
