the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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