at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize