i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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