So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
