her vagine was all disorganized.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
