i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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