Yo dont text me then not text me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
