the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
