Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
