My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
