she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
