I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
