he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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