I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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