i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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