I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
