i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
