Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
