It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
