Jerry, you need to find god
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
