okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have post one night stand depression
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
