Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
