It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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