Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
