I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
