so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
