the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize