South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
