Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
