I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
