too bad you live with your parents still
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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