He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
