I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Terrible idea I love it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
