Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
