I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
