Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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