You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
