I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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