Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
kristin has been a bad kristin
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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