strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
