Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
