i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
