were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you had me at cake vodka
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
BRING THE BAGELS
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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