Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
