When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
