dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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