At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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