I don't usually arrange sex via text message
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
be right there i have to get my cape
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
