Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
