We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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