I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
