Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
