I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
